dinner hour stand up

My youngest entertained us tonight. I love this age. The funniest part of the routine is the way he breaks into peals of uncontrollable laughter before delivering the punch line. There is nothing better than listening to the laughter of a very amused little child. We usually have to ask him to repeat it two or three times before we can hear the punch line through his laughter.

Some of tonight's jewels:

Why did Luke Skywalker scream? He didn't want pie. (He's 8. He was warming up. And he wrote this one himself.)

Knock knock. Who's there? Pile up. Pile up who? No you're not. Don't be so hard on yourself, buddy. (If you don't get it, say it out loud. This one actually made me laugh.)

What does Mr. Lightning wear under his clothes? Thunderpants.

Why did Tigger put his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.

Who is Peter Pan's worst smelling friend? Stinkerbell. (He finds this one especially funny because it was our daughter's nickname when she was a little one. I'm not kidding.)

What nationality are you when you go to the bathroom? European.

And, his favorite joke of the night:

A woman walks into a pet store and says, "Can I get a puppy for my daughter?" "Sorry, lady, we don't do trades."

making friends

Inspired by a post and video of Laurie's, I took Jack to the local dog park on Wednesday morning just before lunch.

Jack is an only dog and hasn't spent much time with other dogs since he was just a six or eight week old pup. I decided we should venture to the park during a weekday morning after school started in the hope that we would be alone for his first visit. My plan was partially successful.

The local dog park is a nice one, with lovely large trees all around the edges and new ones planted here and there with benches tucked underneath. It is split into two areas, one for dogs under 30 pounds and one for dogs over 30 pounds. I parked the car in the parking lot of the neighboring people park and walked underneath a canopy of trees and across a lovely little bridge carrying Jack's wriggly 17 pounds under my arm. I thought we'd check out the small dog part first, so I opened the gate and we walked into a fenced area of longish lawn with a bench in one corner and a water spigot in the middle on a square of concrete, complete with dog bowls, poo bag dispensers and a trash can. Jack sniffed around and ran the perimeter of the fence before making a beeline for me. He sat on his haunches and looked up at me, ready to go. The small dog area is not very exciting.

We ambled into the large dog area with no one in sight. My car had been the only vehicle in the parking lot and I assumed we were alone. You know what happens when you assume . . .

The grass was much longer here, some of it almost as tall as Jack with most of it grazing his belly. After checking out the water faucet with much larger bowls, Jack ran to the nearest tree, nose to the ground. I'm sure he was smelling all of the dogs who had come here before him. I noticed a couple of nylon leashes hanging on the chain link fence, but didn't think much of them because we'd seen all kinds of dog paraphernalia left for visitors' use. Jack took off for the center of the park and I followed. The park is built on a gentle slope with its highest end at the entrance. At the back beyond the fence is a large pond that backs up to the walking paths in the people park. It's really a very pretty spot. As the pond came into view, I saw a man and a woman walking towards us from near the water. As they got closer, I saw the two dogs.

They were large dogs (compared to Jack, anyway), one black and one buff in color. Jack saw them and he was gone, running at top speed across the park in an intercept course. As he closed in, I think he realized that he was not only outnumbered but seriously outsized. As I watched he made an abrupt course correction, taking off for the fence. He was too late. They had seen him and quite quickly they were in pursuit.

I ran but there was no way I was going to catch him in time. The man ran for his dogs, yelling their names. I yelled for Jack. They all ignored us. Watching them run along the fence, I was quite impressed. Both dogs were twice Jack's size but he is very quick. When they would get close, Jack would lay on a bit of extra speed, like a sprinter at the end of the race he's just about to win. It was a beautiful sight, even though I couldn't quite enjoy it at the time.

Finally it occurred to me that I should give Jack a command and get him to come my way. I summoned my loudest voice from the bottom of my diaphragm, yelling, "Jack, come!" Much to my surprise, he barrelled toward me, floppy ears flying with his speed. He never slowed down, taking to the air at the last moment and flying up into my arms. He was wet even though it was midday, and I realized it wasn't dew but saliva. He had large tongue marks on the rear of his body where he'd almost been caught.

Turns out the other dogs were Chinese Shar-Peis, very handsome dogs. The other owner called to his dogs and walked toward me, laughing. At the time I did not find the situation amusing in the least. After comforting him, I sat Jack down at my feet, holding onto his collar, talking to the other owner. The dogs were all panting from effort and smelling of each other. The female was more aggressive, sniffing Jack and circling behind him. The male stayed in front just out of reach. I've never seen Jack so excited or so nervous. He kept turning to keep them both in front of him, but they kept moving, until Jack finally backed his rear end into me and sat on my foot.

Before it was over, Jack was playing, chest down, rear in the air, bouncing up and down and making friendly noises. After the other dogs left, Jack and I walked the rest of the park to let him calm down. I carried him to the car and he slept all the way home, exhausted from the experience. We went back today and Jack was so excited I could barely hold him as we went across the bridge. Next time, I'll have to take his leash for the walk in.

I do think he was a bit disappointed when we found the park deserted. Maybe his friends will be there the next time.

a busy week

I have been very busy.

Last Friday I drove to my old hometown to pick up my mother-in-law's bichon frise. I had agreed to keep him while she is on a cruise to Alaska. Toby is about fourteen years old. He is partially blind, doesn't hear well, has a bit of an incontinence problem (in my brand new house!), and for some reason, no matter how clean he is, he has a terrible smell. On the other hand, he is sweet and loveable and my mother-in-law adores him.

I can't wait for her to get home.

Jack, our adorable nine month old schnauzer, wants to play with Toby all the time. Toby wants to play with Jack about twenty minutes a day. A terrible combination, I must say. I spend a lot of my time just separating them. They have to be walked in succession, because Jack practically runs a mile before he does his business, and Toby barely moves faster than a turtle. At least he only has to walk about six feet before he's ready to go.

The kids went back to school on Monday. Our lovely daughter went back to her high school, even though we've moved into another area. She is driving to school for the first time and is pleased with her schedule. Both of the boys went to new schools, the older one to middle school and the little one to elementary. The fourteen year old is very unhappy after two days of school. I can only hope it gets better. The little one, though, is doing very well. He is delighted with his teacher and the school, and he's made two new friends.

This afternoon I am meeting my daughter at a drug testing facility so that she can take the drug test for her new job! I am excited for her but also slightly worried; she was offered a position in a local drug store after she had filled out one application and had one interview. I hope this experience doesn't make her think it will always be that easy to find a job!

My parents are coming to see the new house this weekend. I am still unpacking and things are really a bit of a wreck. I don't miss the other house, but I do miss the storage. The closets in this house are wonderful and the kitchen storage is amazing, but the general storage for things like games and books and photos isn't quite as good. As a result, I still have boxes full of CDs, DVDs, video games, and books stacked in the dining room. Then there are the miscellaneous items whose perfect storage place always eludes me, regardless. At least in the last house, I had a couple of empty cabinets under the wet bar to stash things. I know it's completely passe to have one these days, but I miss that wet bar.

Add to the above the normal laundry, shopping, and cooking duties as well as the whirlwind of back to school shopping, and I'm amazed I found the time to post today. I suppose I'd better go work on those boxes now. Oh joy.

transition

We have moved. Mostly.

There are still odds and ends left in the old house. Things the movers wouldn't touch. Every last one of my plants, indoors and out. Electronic equipment not packed in its original box. (Who does that?) Gasoline cans. The grill. All taboo items according to the moving company. Then, of course, the entire contents of the coat closet that I forgot to pack.

The kids and I spent part of yesterday carrying things to the new house in my car and in the back of my daughter's truck. I went alone yesterday morning. Just as I was pulling out of the subdivision, rain started to pour. And I mean pour. The kind of rain that makes you think perhaps you should pull off the road for a minute and wait for the deluge to pass.

The new house is a jumble of packed, partially unpacked, and empty boxes. We finally have television, telephone and internet. The weekend was very quiet without them. The new refrigerator has not arrived, so each time we want milk or ice or butter, we have to go out to the garage to the old refrigerator. I am questioning the wisdom of leaving the fridge in the garage while we don't have one in the house. It seemed like a good idea when hubby mentioned it, but in practice it is quite annoying and inconvenient.

The children have adjusted well. I can't say as much for the animals. On Friday the cats found the highest point in a back corner of the house and perched there all day. They were draped on top of each other, the way they used to always sleep when they were kittens. When I climbed up on a counter to try to pet them, Streudel hid behind Lucy and looked at me as if I were an alien. They have mostly gotten over it and have started eating normally again.

Jack is a bit lost. I think I am probably confusing him more by taking him back and forth with me every time I go to the old house. I don't want to crate him every trip we make, and leaving him loose in the new house is out of the question. There are too many lovely things to chew. He does love the old back yard with its big trees and grasses and flowers. As soon as I let him into the house, he runs directly to the back door and sits patiently waiting for the door to open. I think he misses the squirrels.

my luck is changing

Cold air in my Toyota for $50 less than the quote. Four perfectly inflated tires on my lovely daughter's truck. Jack is all better. Packed house. Perfect walk through. Completed closing. The movers will be here at 9:00 am on Friday. Sweet.

Murphy's Law

Moving preparations are going extremely well. I have been pleasantly surprised at the level of my children's packing competence. Granted, we just did this ten months ago, but I remember doing much more of it myself last time. The living room is so full of boxes that only a path in front of and behind the seating is still passable. The walls are bare and the windows are down to the blinds and curtain rods that were already hanging when we moved in. Even the garage is ready. So, of course, something else had to go wrong.

Driving along the turnpike a few days ago with the air conditioner full blast to combat stifling heat and humidity in this suddenly seasonable Oklahoma July, we smelled smoke. The kind of smoke that comes from mechanical failure.

I drive a Toyota Avalon that came equipped with a climate control system. Not one light will come on. The heater won't work. Not that we really want it to. The fan won't blow, not even hot air. The outside temperature display no longer works. It's not that it is registering zero, or even the wrong temperature. It is completely blank. In other words, complete and utter failure of the climate control system.

The garage called yesterday to say that the compressor failed internally causing the entire climate control system to lose power. We need to replace the compressor and the dryer thingy. At the bargain price of $800. Of course it's no longer under warranty.

Hubby went off to work in our lovely VW Passat with perfectly functioning air conditioner. That leaves us with only daughter's truck for transport. The air is nice and cold. However, it seats three. There are four of us left in the house. Of course.

I walked out this morning with keys and purse in hand to run out for a gallon of milk for breakfast. What I found was a flat tire. Completely flat. I guess it no longer matters that the truck only seats three as it is now useless to me. The kids can have juice for breakfast. Or water. Or soda. I frankly do not care as long as they stay out of the gin and the wine. I am reserving those for myself.

The good news is the Toyota will be ready this afternoon. Thank the Lord for small favors.

moving toward home

It is pouring rain this morning and the house is dark and quiet. The children are still sleeping at five minutes until 9:00am. I know I should wake them but frankly I am enjoying the solitude. We are supposed to pack their rooms today. In about a week we'll move. We are nowhere near ready for the moving vans to arrive. I confess that I have never been ready for the moving vans until the night before they arrive. Well, once I was. But that was due to the fact that it was a corporate move and the moving guys did all the packing as well as the loading and unloading. All I had to do was make sure the house was neat, pick up the baby, and get out of the way. That was many years ago, the baby was my almost grown daughter, and I have forgotten completely what it was like to have the luxury of someone else packing up my belongings.

I remember all too clearly our move last year. It was really a chore. We had lived in the same home for twelve years. It was a three bedroom, two bath, two car garage house on a corner lot and it was filled to the brim with all of those important and not so important things a family collects over time. We had a big garage sale and I still had to box things up and move them out just to put the house on the real estate market.

Before we knew we'd have to move away from home, we had started looking for a larger house, something bigger with another bedroom in our same school district. I knew we needed more space but I don't think I realized just how small our house was until we moved into this one. There is so much space here that I felt a bit lost at first. In fact, I missed my little gray house. I missed my beautiful soaking tub that sat under a skylight in redwood decking. I missed the vaulted ceilings and the natural light that filled the house. I missed the walls I had stripped and painted and papered, the woodwork I had stained, the tile floors my husband had painstakingly laid. Oddly enough I missed the intimacy of the smaller space. I missed lying in bed and hearing my boys murmur to each other across the hallway.

I think what I missed most of all was the feeling that the little gray house was my home. This house is not my home. It is roomy and has storage to die for, but it isn't mine. I can't change the fixtures or the wallpaper in the extra bathroom or the carpet. I can't rip out the horrible bushes the homeowner didn't tend for years. I can't change the kitchen counters or tear out the wall between the laundry room and the half bath to make it big enough to turn around in. I have wanted to do each of those things since the moment we moved in.

I am not looking forward to the logistics of moving. I most definitely am not interested in packing or unpacking. I don't want to get the kids up and make them work the next week of their summer away. But when it's all over and I am sitting in a house full of boxes waiting to be emptied, I know I will feel happier, more content. We bought a house. And once again, I'll have a place to call my own.